Check out our Kickstarter Project: Hula Girls Art Book

It's been so busy around here I have hardly had time for this blog. My oldest son, who's 12, has recently started Band at the local public school where he's learning to play the clarinet. He's been invited to be in the Elite Band to play the keyboard and glockenspiel as well, which means he's away for two hours each morning! To top this off my youngest has started preschool in the afternoons. Luckily I've devised a crazy little schedule which will keep all our ducks in a row, or at least afloat!

The reason I haven't been on this blog is because I've been writing a book for my husband. He asked me to write a book to accompany his awesome hula girls art. He's an island artist who paints and draws anything from religious icons to nature to hula girls. He's mostly fond of anything to do with the islands. We do, in fact, live on an island.

The book is titled "Hula Girls - The Hula Art of DePaula". The book is accompanied by amazing hula girl paintings by the talented artist William De Paula, aka husband and father extraordinaire. The book is a hula dancing pin-up art book with all original artwork by him. In writing this book, I researched the history of hula and its place in Hawaiian and pop culture. It was inspired by our honeymoon visit to Kauai and Maui 15 years ago. The Hawaiian islands' magic and lore continue to enchant us.

Please check out our Kickstarter page and consider funding to help make publishing this book a reality and share with everyone you know (pretty please?). Any donation -of course - would be so much appreciated as well!

Thank you in advance for viewing our book and especially for your support.

Five Things You Should Consider Before Buying A Planner

Remembering things have never been my strong suit. As my life gets busier, I know I needed more than the nearly constant beeping - mostly ignored - of my cellphone. Digital has its advantages, but it's not for me. A big picture gal, I need to see everything in front of me - writing, chores and errands. I have a satisfactory working system for my homeschool planning which means I only need guidelines and "the next thing" and we're ready to go, but after I'm done I'd like a place to journal about how the day went. I'm planning on using my planner for that. My week needs to be defined, but I still need plenty of writing space. Also, a long section for a to-do list. I decided to go back to paper planners. I haven't used one in years. Being a homeschool mom of three kids of varying ages and starting a freelance writing career, I'm busier than I've ever been.

A quick Google and there's a whole universe of paper planners, from scrap-book style to bare-bones day-of-the-week from thirty years ago. What I thought was going to take half an hour turned into an epic quest rivaling Indiana Jones'. Days and many hours later, I have found my planner.

I found searching for the right planner involves more than choosing from one list at one site. The first step is to consider what kind of planner you prefer. This involves asking yourself some key questions and visualizing what you're going to be using this planner for.

Here are five things you should consider before buying a paper planner:

1. Which style suits you best?
Ring-bound with refills, wire-bound, book-binding. Does a gorgeous cover and personalization à la Erin Condren matter to you? Could you care less about decorating your planner, do you just want some empty lines on good paper? Do you want to buy a whole new one, or keep reusing a cover and just buying refills like Franklin Covey?

2. Which format?
Monthly at-a-glance style planners, weekly vertical, weekly horizontal, plenty of space for to-do lists? Maybe you need to pare down your to-do list and need more space for appointments. Perhaps you're a free spirit and don't mind customizing your own bullet journal?

3. Which budget?
Some planners sure are pretty, but they can cost you a pretty penny. How much are you willing to pay for a paper organizer? Is it worth it if you are motivated enough to use it day in and day out? If it's going to frustrate you because it's so expensive and you're not using it nearly as much you thought you would, you'd be better off starting off with something simpler. Remember, presumably you'll need one yearly. Sometimes it takes a few years to find out which one is your ideal planner.

4. Do you already have a cover lying somewhere in your house?
Chances are, you may have bought one in the past - Day Timer covers and others work with other refills just fine. In my case, after searching around in my own home, I found two covers - one compact one and a Franklin Covey Classic (5.5" X 8.5"). Looking at how small compact was, I knew I couldn't use this. My handwriting is large, and I like to write plenty of notes. I'm keeping the little cover around in case one of my kids wants to use it in the future. It's black and imitation leather, and very usable. The Classic is nice - dark brown and leather, and more importantly, the right size. I decided I needed to at least seriously consider the possibility of using Franklin Covey refills.

The best part is, you may not have to commit to your cover's manufacturer. You could search on Etsy and google "printable planner refills" to build your planner the way you want to.

5. Search on YouTube for planner videos
You'll see people giving reviews of their planners and showing you how they use it. Short of seeing it in person, there's nothing better for size and style comparison than seeing someone holding the planner you're eyeing. Oftentimes the reviewer will show you how he customizes it to fits his own needs. She will show you her categories, how she organizes the planner, and sometimes how to break the rules. Hint: You don't have to write neatly in the space provided, and you can use the margins to jot down quick notes.

All these tips helped me in my discovery of my chosen planner. I haven't received it yet, but realizing how valuable all the information contained in the videos were, I'm thinking of creating my own video showcasing it.

The Wonder of Boys

I only have one son. He's 11 now and growing up faster than should be allowed. He's gratefully slow to mature; in many ways he's still a little boy. Every once a while, though, I'll watch as he solves a problem in a more grown-up way, or have an insight that surprises us all.

For many years I've heard of Michael Gurian. He's known as the expert on boys, and his "Wonder of Boys" book has been patiently sitting on my shelf for years. I finally picked it up, and once I started reading it, was glad I did.

As much as I thought I understood boys and men, I gleaned valuable information. I agree with Gurian when he says that the particular brand of feminism from the sixties and seventies, although valuable in its time, doesn't serve us anymore. To make a dramatic change from the then status quo, male patriarchy, it was necessary to use drastic measures. However, now that we have made great strides in women's rights it's time to dial back a little and see the world as it is.

In this world and this time, men and boys are not necessarily privileged and favored above girls. Boys are not monsters who need to be hemmed in and controlled left and right. Our nation's over diagnosing of ADHD is an example of this. The staggering number of men and boys in trouble - either homeless, mentally ill, promiscuous or in jail, makes us pause. Have we, in our zeal to correct a wrong - women's discrimination- gone too far the other way? Have we neglected our boys, or failed to see that bringing up boys the way we bring up girls is not the answer? That *gasp* nature may play as big of a part as nurture?

Michael Gurian posits this and many other interesting points in his Wonder of Boys. He not merely presents us with the problems, but offers doable solutions we all can work on to help raise our boys. Even if you don't have boys, you are part of the people raising boys. Gurian says the phrase "it takes a village" applies especially to boys. Boys need a combination of family members (Gurian says father and uncles - I say mothers too), mentors, and media to teach them.

Gurian spends a lot of time telling us that moms need to let go of their sons. I can see Gurian's point about enmeshment moms can get into with their sons, particularly single moms. However, as one with a supportive husband, I feel that I'm capable enough to have a healthy relationship with my son without completely letting go and having Dad take over. Yes, I do agree that Dad is the primary parent now in shaping his moral character and mentoring him, but I'm as involved as Dad was our son didn't want anything to do with him. Just as my husband didn't step aside out of the nest and have me raise my baby son alone, I'm not stepping aside completely but I'm still valuable and very much present in my son's life.

Yes, I do let go, and I do so consciously and carefully, not letting go too early or too often. It's a balance, like it is with everything. All that said, thank you, Michael Gurian, for writing an insightful and instrumental book in helping us mothers deal with our boys whose changing bodies and minds sometimes perplexes us.